Frequently Asked Questions

What I am looking for: I am looking for a friend and a lover. I am looking for someone I would enjoy being alone together with, someone who I would be comfortable with just sitting by the fire and reading books with. (We might interrupt each other occasionally to read aloud a funny or interesting passage.) I am looking for someone to travel with, to enjoy movies with, to enjoy dinners with friends with, to enjoy the beauty of life with. I am looking for someone I am sexually attracted to. I have had a very active sex life. I have only had sex with two women in the last 50 years, but I have had a lot of very loving intimacy with my two wives.

Relationship Philosophy: I believe the way to have the kind of relationship you want is to be half of that relationship. You can only control your half. The other half will either line up on you or it was not meant to be. You may make some adjustments and line up on your partner, but you will hopefully choose the best parts of both your relationship expectations. Be your half of a great relationship and you will have done your part.

The preacher that married me and my first wife required that we come in for a short talk before he would perform the ceremony. I can't believe that someone could give me a short talk that would actually change my life, but he did. He told us not to always tell each other the truth, but to always accept what our partner told us as the truth. If I ask my wife what she wants for dinner and she says, "I don't care", I accept that she doesn't care and I choose. When you have an agreed upon policy of accepting what your partner tells you as the truth, pretty soon you start telling each other the truth.

One day I got a call at work from my wife. She and my sister-in-law had been driving through a beautiful neighborhood when they saw a for sale sign go up. They pulled over and took a look at the house. My wife loved it and wanted to buy it. It was a lot of money and that was very scary. She was afraid to buy it because I had not seen it. (We weren't even really in the market for a new house.) If we waited for me to get home from work, we may be in a bidding war for this spectacular house. I told her "If you want it, buy it". She was afraid to do that without me seeing the house. My sister-in-law reminded her of our "accept what your partner says as the truth" agreement. She bought the house. We were able to afford it. It was a wonderful house.

Financial Security:  What can I say? I am financially secure. I am not going to post my net worth on the internet, but looking at my Ameriprise account, it says I have a 100% chance of achieving my financial objectives. This is probably more information than it is wise to post.

Exercise:  I am a member of my local Fit19 gym. I do weight training 3 times/week but I am new at this (part of my new life) so I am not ready to pose for the cover of a romance novel. I also play golf once or twice a week. I consider that both fun and exercise. I try to go to the driving range and hit balls one or two times a week. I also consider that exercise. Bottom line, I exercise 4 to 6 times a week. I also consider sex good exercise. I would like to get more exercise.

Religion:  I am not really religious. I was raised as a Lutheran but I have not attended church in many years. I have a friend who is quite knowledgeable about comparative religions. She asked me to describe my spiritual beliefs. After listening to me she said that I sound like a Buddhist. I don't know. I have never studied Buddhism.

Politics: I leave this to last. Most of the lovely ladies in the Bay Area will write me off immediately because I don't identify as a liberal. I Identify as a fiscal conservative and a social liberal. What is a "fiscal conservative and a social liberal"?

I might be considered liberal because of these opinions:

I believe that no woman should be forced to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term, but I oppose late term abortion. I used to joke (but it was only a joke) that a woman should have the right to kill her own children until they turn 21 or become financially independent (whichever comes first). In fact, I approve of abortion in the first trimester (although it is a tragedy). I oppose abortion in the third trimester, and in the second trimester I am damn glad it is not my decision to make. I oppose killing viable baby humans and I also oppose clubbing baby seals to death.

I have no problem with gay marriage. Many conservatives approve of "civil unions" but oppose gay marriage. There is legally no difference. Opposing gay marriage seems so childish. It is like they are saying "Marriage is MY word. You can't use my word".

As a social liberal I am all for women's rights, gay rights, and equal rights for all colors & creeds.

I might be considered a conservative because of these opinions:

I believe smaller government is better government.

I believe government should stay out of our lives as much as possible.

My favorite Ronald Regan quote is that the scariest words in the English language are "I'm from the government and I am here to help".

I believe you can make better decisions about how to spend your money than the government can.

I believe that a free market allocates goods and services SO much better than the government can.

I believe that the government should insure equal opportunity and not equal outcome.

It may sound cruel, but when I hear that such-and-such situation is harder on the poor than on the wealthy I think "Well, duh! That's why you don't want to be poor!"  America offers you opportunity, not a guarantee of a cushy life. I support a hand up for those temporarily going through a rough patch, but I do not support enabling those determined to live off the largess of the government.

I grew up in Venezuela. I have friends that are still there. Socialism has destroyed that wonderful country and I believe it will destroy ours. The siren call of socialism is just too intoxicating for the naïve and the ignorant. I fear America will eventually succumb. I fear my grandchildren will die under socialism.

One of my good friends who is very liberal pointed out that free public education, Social Security, and Medicare are all forms of socialism. Public education I see as an investment in America's future. I would support free college for those who demonstrate by scholastic achievement that they deserve it. Social Security and Medicare are both Ponzi schemes. I am profiting from both. (I don't need the help, but what the heck.) My grandchildren will get to pick up the bill. Hopefully their inheritance will help.

Regarding climate change, I do believe that humans are influencing climate change. However i believe that by far the main thing influencing climate change is solar activity. Several ice ages came and went before man entered the industrial age. Of the influences caused by man I think pollution and deforestation are the biggest problems. Admittedly, the burning of fossil fuels is also an influence. Historically a rise in CO2 has resulted in an increase in plant growth to gobble it up. I don't believe that killing the economy of the USA to reduce CO2 production makes any sense at all. As Americans, we are careful about our CO2 generation and we do not dump our garbage into the ocean. The big polluters are China, India, Indonesia and other countries in Asia & Africa. The deforestation occurring in Africa and the Amazon are a big part of man's contribution to global warming. Click here to see what I consider to be a sensible article on global warming.